Dumb self harm thoughts

[dreamyunicorn]

I think about cutting myself so much recently. A part of me really wants to, kind of often. This is new. I don't give in. I try to remember it isn't worth it. I dig my nails into my hands and arms a lot, which satisfies the feeling a little bit. A while ago I angrily dug them in really hard and dragged them up my arm which felt good in the moment but really dumb afterwards because I had huge scratches up my arms for a week even though it was only just deep enough to bleed. Nobody noticed, which was good.

I don't know if I will keep being able to hold out.